Engorgement.

Your milk is here-and you can't believe what it feels like! Here is how to explain it to your spouse.

It's like:

-An alien replaced your boobs with fourteen-pound explosive bowling balls.

-Truck tires that are dangerously overinflated.

-A wicked witch cast a spell on you that makes your boobs as solid as stone.

-You're wearing a superhero chest-plate of steel, and the villain is shooting lasers at it.

-There's a miniature army in your boobs and they are punching you from the inside.

-Your chest is the Hoover Dam and Lake Mead is pushing so hard, the dam is going to collapse in about two seconds.

-You went in to the hospital to give birth, but they accidentally gave you an enormous boob job.


If all this fails, relate it to him: It's like he woke up to find his testicles swollen to the size of grapefruits and as heavy as a pair of sandbags. (Oh yes, and burning like someone lit a bonfire inside of them.)

Thanks S. Seip & A. Hedger for giving us "If these BOOBS could talk" ! It is a much needed comic relief!